English Gansta

I be one of dem crakka G's, aaight? I got iced grillz an that. Dis be anuva of me posts, like..I's goin stop bein the tight G now aaight? Now I's de Bri'ish G..word.

Now I ain't no bunny, so I chinnin with you muppet coz I crabbed you was a good cat and all. So I's takin a stroll wiv me bo after we bounced a wheat-joint. We ran into this wrong gee, a real bindle stiff, and me mugg got all bing. I told im to lie morby, but e pulls aut 'is chive at this bloke, an' e paws im straight in da kisser. Cooled im right out. An a dicky saw us an pulls us inta the club'ouse. Crushed out soon enough.
After dis little blip off, we got into the boiler and went to see the high pillow and the bangtails for our berries. Made sure there were no elbows, and he squizzed the egg about his banged beezer. He got his goons to put the curse on the goose, savvy? Then we had ourselves a gasper and some giggle-juice, and went back to the scazzer in the heap.
Boss says on the blower the poser's been blipped off by his droppers, the stiff's taking the big sleep. But a Shamus came over to my bunk and grilled me over the guns. I breezed off, and went to see the egg who has the bees at this hash-house. "New job," he says,"I know on the wire that you in a yank, so I got a box-job of ice for you and my chopper squads to pull. Put on your glad rags and we'll meet at the gin-mill". I says akey-breaks, so the deal's done.

Phew! That was all 100% authentic 30s British thug talk. It is not rude, and there are no swear words. Have fun deciphering it! If you will excuse me, I have to go and vomit...so..exausting!!